


A Juicy Secret

by Acosmist_Phantom



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Apple Juice, Drabble, Fluff and Humour, M/M, Minor Swearing, One Shot, Pepsi Cola, Pepsi/Cola, Pretty chill
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-03
Updated: 2018-05-03
Packaged: 2019-05-01 10:59:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14519025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Acosmist_Phantom/pseuds/Acosmist_Phantom
Summary: Dave is horrified and astounded when John shares a ~juicy secret~ with him... will this confession ruin their relationship for good?





	A Juicy Secret

**Author's Note:**

> *Runs into Homestuck fandom in 2018 carrying Starbucks and my crappy fanfiction contribution* Sorry I'm late! But I brought my fanfiction ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 
> 
> Let's be real; it's kind of crappy, and it probably won't get popular because Homestuck is kinda not that big anymore..? I hope that Hiveswap has kind of breathed some kind of life back into this amazing fandom~ I'm writing this to all the current Homestuck (and in this specific one-shot, Dave X John) fans! I plan to write Hiveswap, Voltron, Bungou Stray Dogs, IT, Hetalia, more Homestuck, and other fandoms' fanfiction in the future, starting off with one-shots (I'm just a little busy right now) Any suggestions are welcome! I ship a lot of different stuff, so please don't be shy to ask!
> 
> Only warning is sparse swearing! Enjoy~

Dave was casually sitting on the floor of John's bedroom, drinking the last of the apple juice he had brought with him. He couldn't just drink it silently, John discovered. No, Dave found it necessary to preach about it to anyone close to him whenever he drank the damn beverage (which, unfortunately, was whenever it was available to him). In this particular situation, John was the poor soul closest to the apple juice addict, and would therefore be the one experiencing Dave's spiel of love towards apple juice this time.

 

"John, have you ever had apple juice? Seriously, it can't just be me who loves this shit. Have I told you lately how amazing it is?" Dave began, and John held his breath. _Yes, everyday_... he thought. It was almost like Dave loved apple juice more than he loved him! But of course John was not jealous of a beverage! _Don't be ridiculous..._

 

"Yeah... you have told me, actually..." John chuckled, resting his head on Dave's shoulder and sighing softly as he closed his eyes. Dave was ignoring him unfortunately, and instead staring intently at the juice, stroking the bottle softly.

"Oh. Well, that's probably because it's just so fucking great, dude." Dave shrugged, not averting his eyes from the juice. "I'm really not to blame." John felt a smile spread across his lips despite the weirdness. He enjoyed hanging out with Dave, and he did enjoy their weird conversations, as stupid as they were. This was not only because John was his boyfriend. Dave felt more calm around John, and Dave noted that John became more comfortable and affectionate around him. Dave felt the same way of course; John had always been there for him and so he wanted to let John know he'd be there for him too, but he wanted to show it in a way without being a cheesy motherfucker. He was sure it would just be weird and awkward if he just 'showed' his feelings. He wasn't about that. Nonetheless, he cared about John, even if he felt like he shouldn't just make it ridiculously and awkwardly obvious. On top of everything, Dave was also grateful to his boyfriend who had never attempted to steal his apple juice.

 

John rolled his eyes and held in laughter at Dave's statement. How did he expect him to take him seriously? Oh well. John didn't mind Dave's rants most of the time... as long as they were within reasonable time frames. John watched as Dave drank the rest of the golden liquid he cherished so much, as then lowered the empty bottle to the ground. The two boys sat in silence for a moment, both looking at the bottle. That was until Dave broke the silence. "I'm going to go check out your fridge and get a refill."

 

John begrudgedly sat up, reluctantly taking his head from Dave's shoulder, and listened to Dave's footsteps as he walked to his kitchen. He opened his mouth to tell Dave that there wouldn't be any apple juice in his fridge, but before he could, John heard the fridge door open. This was followed by an odd silence. More silence. It stretched on in an uncomfortable manner, and John began to get just a little worried. It wasn't a long trip after all, so Dave shouldn't have taken so long, and should have been back, sulking about how John should really begin to stock apple juice. Hopefully he wasn't _too_ upset about the lack of apple juice. "Um, Dave... Are you alright?" John called out in a slightly nervous way. He thought he heard some kind of squeak from Dave, but shook it off. Dave didn't make noises like that, right? Other than the odd squeak, there was no reply. John stood up, beginning to go check on the blonde boy until he heard the fridge door shut, and Strider waltzed up the stairs and dramatically slammed open the bedroom door. Dave wasn't one to show many emotions, and John, knowing Dave for a very long time and being close to him, grew to know and accept this. But Dave looked annoyed. Dave looked ashamed. Dave looked... _offended_.

 

John opened his mouth to say something, but was cut off before he could get anything out. "John... can you explain something to me?" Dave muttered, in a volume just audible to John. John swallowed nervously and nodded his head quickly. This couldn't be about the juice... Dave was actually upset about something. "What is _this_?!" Dave stammered, still refusing to meet John's eyes. Well, or so John assumed. After all, Dave was wearing shades.

 

Oh my God... what had he found?! What did John leave out? Was this a prank? Maybe Terezi was back at it again with her weird troll hate-date shit, and broke into his house to leave something to shock Dave... but what could it be? John didn't really keep a lot of secrets, and none he could think of would shock Dave like this. John felt flustered and confused, and the situation didn't get any clearer for him when Dave pulled a bottle of orange juice from his back and into John's view. He held it away from his body as if it were toxic. "I am... _disgusted_." John was sure that Dave wasn't looking directly at the beverage, as his head was now facing the side. So it was the juice?

 

"I... I can't believe you'd do this to me. I really don't." Dave continued. "You've betrayed me." Was... was he being serious? No way this was anything not ironic. It was ridiculous! John didn't quite understand. Was Dave seriously implying that he was a 'traitor' for having orange juice in his fridge?

 

"On top of discovering this monstrosity in your fridge, there is also _no_ apple juice." Dave kept explaining in a hurt and offended manner. John stared at him, dumbfounded. _'He's got to be shitting me.'_

 

Then it clicked.

 

"Dave," John shook his head, beginning to smile at the 'irony' Dave was obviously displaying, and the fact he had even began to fall for the act. _No,_ John had decided. _He is kidding around_. "Very funny. You got me. The irony in your jokes never fail to amuse me!"

 

Dave remained silent, before shaking his head, dumbfounded. "Do you think this is a joke? That I'm joking? No, John, the fact you have orange juice in your fridge, _unironically_ , is the joke!" John drew his eyebrows together hearing Dave speak in such a serious, irony-devoid manner. He didn't shout, but he spoke in such a disappointed and confused manner that John was filled with genuine shock. Dave wasn't kidding... John knew the blonde liked apple juice, but not like this! John was torn between wanting to scream with laughter at the ridiculousness of the situation or flip out in confusion and whack the juice from his best bro's hands, then slap some sense into him, before jumping out the window and running. Both options, of course, were ridiculous, but so was this entire conversation!

 

"Um, Dave, what's so wrong with orange juice?" John nervously inquired, raising his eyebrow and looking at the guilty beverage.

 

"Well, John, for a start, it is not apple juice, which is unacceptable." Dave explained, in a real sarcastic and sharp manner. John had to bite his lip to avoid laughing. God, his boyfriend had truly lost it! "And orange juice is simply _disgusting_. It has chunky pulps in it, and it tastes gross." John raised his eyebrows before furrowing them, as he heard Dave finish his statement.

 

"Well, I like orange juice!" John blurted. It was true. In fact, he _loved_ orange juice... He suspected Dave wouldn't take it too well, so he never brought it up. John knew, on some level, Dave was going to flip and John was never going to stop hearing about it. However, he never knew Dave would discover the orange juice in his fridge and _shame_ him for it!

 

Dave literally took a step away from him, flinching, as if he was some kind of monster. " _What?_ " His voice was one of disbelief, and it was only just above a whisper.

 

"It's no big deal. I just... don't really like apple juice?" For some reason, John posed this like a kind of question. Well, this 'question' made Dave gasp. "I like orange juice! I mean, it's cool you like apple juice, but I think orange juice is better. That's why it's in my fridge, and not apple juice." John finished, smiling at Dave, but Dave didn't respond. He just stared at John, and his mouth hanging open. John was seriously concerned. He wasn't faking this. Was he being serious?

 

"Are you serious?" Dave shook his head at John. "You're an orange juice lover? What ever happened to apple juice?"

 

John was beginning to find this just a little frustrating. Why the Hell were they arguing about juice preferences?! "Dave, I don't like apple juice! I _hate_ it!" In the heat of the moment, John blurted. Once he said it, he felt both relieved and shocked. A long silence followed. Man, the confession came out with shocking force that John didn't even know he had stored. But it was true. John Egbert hated apple juice. He just didn't say so, because he didn't think it was worth an ongoing debate with Dave. "I-I'm sorry, but I really do hate apple juice. It's too sickly and sweet. It's fine you like it, but I just hate it, and I can't get myself to drink it."

 

The silence surrounding the boys began to feel heavy and awkward. John scratched his neck, wondering if he had truly stuffed up. Dave didn't move. Finally, when John opened his mouth to say something probably weirdly random to change the subject and break the silence, Dave began to speak. "John... I have concerns and inquiries for you, but, I think I can sum it up in one question." Strider paused, and John, still completely confused and at a loss for words, nodded in an expectant and confused way once again. John's smile had long faded, and he now looked at Dave with an expression both afraid and amused. What was wrong with this apple juice addicted idiot he called a boyfriend?! He was being serious about all this!

 

The brief nod had caused Dave to begin to approach John, dropping the orange juice jug on the floor. John began to step backwards, moving awkwardly or tripping over dirty clothing littered casually on the floor, glancing quickly from his feet to Dave again. Before he knew it, John felt his back press against the cold surface of the wall. Dave got close enough to John that the black-haired boy had been backed up completely against the wall, and couldn't retreat any further. John began to sweat profusely, first trying not to look at Dave's face and instead glancing at his own feet, but eventually he was forced to look into the black abyss of Dave's sunglasses. He could feel Dave's breath on his face, and their noses were almost touching. What the _Hell_ was he doing?! What was he _going_ to do? A light scarlet blush tinted John's cheeks as Dave spoke softly, but in a tone that parents use to show "disappointment".

 

"Bro, what the **_fuck_**?"

**Author's Note:**

> (A/N)  
> ....and that's why Dave X John was never officially canon.
> 
> *Laughs* Oh my God, this is ridiculous... I'm sorry.... (°▽°)
> 
> I actually hate orange juice? Apple juice is the absolute best. This is how I react when someone likes orange juice and not apple juice XD
> 
> Thanks for reading!! I promise my stories will improve- I have many ideas, just no motivation :( Plus, I really am not used to writing romance (I usually wrote horror) and I'm new to AO3, so please don't hate on me too harshly XD Comments and feedback are greatly appreciated!


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